How long is too long when you're waiting by the phone?

Remember how I am such a girl that it sickens me. I have hung out with Topher numerous times over the past week and the one night that we don't I can't let my cell phone out of my sight just in case. I didn't think I was letting my guard down. I actually thought I was doing really good. But I evaluated myself today and I am falling for him whether I like it or not. How could I not be especially after last night playing pool? Things just clicked in and felt so comfortable and right. Sitting beside him last night I could have stayed up till all hours of the night, not caring that I had to be in to work at 8, because it just felt so good to have his arm around me. I am such a girl that it sickens me.

Not only does it sicken me...but it frightens me. I cannot count the number of rejections that have weakened my ability to date properly. I always doubt myself and doubt the way the other person feels about me. Even though others tell me how he feels, I can't believe it. Not till it is said out loud by him. And there in lies the rub. If you haven't guessed that is my new favourite saying.