Sunday, May 24, 2009

She's Done What She Should Should She Do What She Dares?

So I got a longboard! I know.. every has told me I am gonna kill myself...which I may, I am not known for my grace and agility. My boss/dentist told me today to protect my hands/arms at all costs and that she could always fix my teeth :) I have been out on it twice and wiped out today for my first time! I have the feeling it is the first of many but I am having a good time. The board is a Sector 9 Joel Tudor and its green. It's pretty sexy, I'm not gonna lie.

I cut my losses with the cute boy I was auditioning. It's a good thing the play was starting to fall apart at the seems, I was spending too much time rehearsing trivial scenes. He will not be getting a call back.

So on to the up and coming stories of life. I was thinking back the other day to the last time life felt more fun and less stressful. I couldn't pinpoint an exact date but I was reading some old emails and looking at some old photos. Flash back to two summers ago...I was dating a boy named Tom. Life was simple and despite what I thought at the time the kid loved me. He outright told me, but me being me, I refused to believe it. Now I am trying to get to a place in my life where if someone told me that I would believe them....and I just as I was thinking about how to go about it who should pop up to chat but Tom himself. We chatted about life and how much has changed and just wanting to simplify, de-stress, and chill. I suggested we get together and play guitar like old times. Now don't get the wrong idea with this. time has moved both of us to far off places from one another. He even has a gf. But it is just about finding that place where life wasn't a mess.

So other story...for those of you who don't know. Last summer I fell in love with one of my best friends. Our friendship changed into this awkard heap of a mess and he moved home to Ontario last fall. I never wanted to fall for him or be with just happened. And I have spent a good portion of the last 6 months trying to move past these feelings and work it all out, Because he still is one of my best friends and I miss him a ton. He invited me to come and see him this summer. Which sounds like a fantastic fun idea. I love big cities and would get to spend a week in Toronto. Plus I really miss him. Now I kind of had a reality check conversation with my soulmate Carrie. She was like who are you kidding something will have fallen into this how many times? And it is just keeps on happening. Which is true.But as terrible of an idea as it is...I still am conflicted about it.

So here's to making the decisions that will make me happy. I wish myself the best of luck


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