Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me?

Hahaha....ha.

Ok so here's the latest scoops.

Topping our list tonight is my recently found kindred spirit. The boy with which the common ground keeps increasing. Ok, so despite my initial efforts I slipped into the friends zone, and he started sharing information with me about a certain girl that had taken his special interest. Yes I just said special interest. He would tell me about things like dates and camping trips they had planned.Anyways...he came up with me when I went to sing at the art show in Calgary. More for her than me...but at this point I had just taken my seat in the F.Z. So I just supported him in what he was pursuing. At the end of the night it looked like someone had shot a puppy in front of the guy. I went up and asked what was with the sad face. He let me know that said girl was going to like Poland or something for 5 months. I smiled inside (not downstairs Eve's Saint Laurent was not mentioned) but suggested he just enjoy the time he did have with her.

But as I saw him afterward and continued to talk and spend time with him I realized that the want for him to put his arm around me...was the secret in the back of my skull. Yesterday, something happened. He came over to watch Old Greg.


You tube it if you don't know what that is and are not easily offended. We watched it on my lap top and he sat rather close to me. Not gonna lie felt really good. Then as we transitioned into Flight of the Conchords, I was brave enough to muster a move. It took me hours. Now mind you this is the most mixed signals....whatever I had ever been apart of in my entire life. He was practically in my lap...then he was two feet away the his legs were on top of mine, then he was like on the arm of the couch. I DUNNO, so me being me I am this is what I think and where I stand in all this and rested my head on his shoulder...nothing too intimidating and easy to maneuver out of if not reciprocated.

But he stayed, actually got a bit closer. He ended up at my house till about 2:30am. I was 17 all over again willing to sacrifice sleep to spend time with a boy I liked. But instead of having a computer class at the college the next day (like I did when I was young)...I had a full day of work at a demanding job. HA! Long day....long day.

And now...have I heard a word from him?Nope. Will I? Not expecting to. And I am, though I would never let anyone see it, kinda bummed about it. And just when you think the universe couldn't through you another kidney punch....remember my internet boyfriend from a few posts back?Broke up with girlfriend, now pursuing my roommate. How? What? Ok well cheers to hiding in my room. I am being polite and sociable. Not gonna lie though...sucks to watch.

Dear Universe,

Please cut me some slack.

Love,
Ash